Tucson Quotes

"What am I supposed to do with that?"
*a customer after I hand him his white mocha*

"Well when I tried to open the first door, the lock came out into my hand and the lock on the other door was upside-down."
*Kara, on a particular Friday the 13th*

"Yours has limes on it!"
*Jacob*

"In an airtight container, in the dark."
*Unknown Starbucks barista*

Kara: No! There's no caramel caramel and it's not a mocha mocha!

"Who likes bananas?"
*Becky Riggers* (technically not in Tucson, but still funny)

Me: There are a lot of them on the UW campus, and they're small.....
Tyler: ASIANS!!!
Me: ......and furry.....
*ask me about this story* (also not technically in Tucson)

Taboo Quotes
Things Emily thought could actually be the answer: bustress and hand party

"This is like a celebration...with your body."
*Nat...answer: applause...even though she could say "audience"*

"stopometer"
*Kendra*

Mark: I take Viagra because...my penis is..."
Everyone Else: Limp! Dead! Small! Soft! Impotent!

"A furry creature that you read!"
*Ken, in reference to Stuart Little*

"What creatures wouldn't die in an atomic bomb?"
Emily: Rocks! Plastic animals!

More House Quotes !
"I'm in trouble if I ever move to Hawaii. I can't premanounce..."
*Stevie*

Stevie: I made BBQ chicken tidbits.
Kendra: With what kind of sauce? BBQ sauce?

Me: We're watching ice cream...I mean ice skating.
My Mom: Have you been drinking?

"That's my toothbrush!"
*Me to Nat, while the toothbrush was definitely in Nat's mouth*

Lily: Do you want to be taught the Pythagorean theorem?
Stevie: I know the Pythagorean theorem.

Bre: Where's Stevie?
Lily: Stevie's over there talking to the man with the shiny head.

"Doinkers"
*What Tonya calls hair wispys*

"Four words to help you stay out of trouble: Keep your pants on."
*Ryan, Nat's brother*

"My hair is like Jesus'...nice and wooley!"
*Kimbo*

"He's from South Africa? He always seemed normal to me..."
*Ashley, refering to Norman*

Nat: Do you really want to use screws?
Kendra: Well we already screwed upstairs...

Tonya: We should make this a tradition.
Lily: ...birthday cake for someone's birthday?
*while preparing for cake for Emily's birthday*

Jamie: I actually really like that commercial.
Stevie: I refuse to like any tampon or pad commercial.

"You content me..."
*Chaco to Leche...says it all*

"It's like sweet nectar..."
*Tonya as the sun hits her face at 5am during Relay for Life*

"I mean really, who wants our grass?"
*Kendra, relationships, and lap 512, Relay for Life*

"There's a message behind that!"
*Kim's dad after trying to drive the car and realizing that it isn't running because the valet man turned it off*

"I don't understand this game."
*Nat's mom confused as to how to get herself on the quote wall*

"They're always cute - anything wearing a suit."
*Stevie commending on Blue Angel Fighter Pilots*

"I want a guy who has good essence."
*Kendra speaking of the beautiful Taye Diggs*

"I'll be downstairs in a bit, then we can do Lily...I mean do up Lily."
*Kendra on my birthday/bachelorette party night*

Ken: Are they in a gang?
Everyone Else: .....
Ken: Are they in an Irish gang?
*while watching "Legends of the Fall, set in Montana*

"Is this 4501? The facebook party?"
*random guys at the door at 10:45 on a Thursday night*

Kendra: Stop cheating.
Kim: I didn't mean to!
Kendra: I'm gonna tell on you!
Me: Stop fighting!
*as I cruise by in my bumbercar while playing Whirlyball for Nat's birthday*

"At least I'm patriotic!"
*Stevie to Kendra, too many times to count*

"Don't give me that look just because I don't have your liver!"
*Ken to Nat*

"God did not create tampons."
*Kendra*

"She didn't look like a man in the night sky..."
*Nat, in reference to Sasha Cohen's skating dress*

"Oh hey, it worked! I cocked up!"
*Kendra figuring out the recliner*

Tonya: I don't have Microsoft Word...I do now?
Me: ...that's my computer...

"No one will be marching in the Baghdad processional."
*Kendra...she meant bagpipes*

"Yeah, I did notice your butt looked good while you were proposing."
*Ken to Nat at my bridal shower*

"I'm just a blind person bobbing in a pool!"
*Breanne discussing her swimming woes*

"I could handle Shawn right now."
*Tonya, towards the end of her 21st birthday night*

"Oh, your dad's playing?! I'll bash into his stuff!"
*Kim, in reference to playing Whirly Ball with Nat's dad*

"I hate it when that happens! Every time I write 'creme brule' I can't do my air violin!"
*Kendra*

"Free as love, baby."
*Nathan from the Cheesecake Factory...Nat just wanted a refill...awkward*

"...If there's a mandatory soccer meeting, I mean, if your family member dies, they die..."
*Nat's morbid thoughts on meetings*

"But I love you Kendra. I can accept you where you are in your sin."
*Nat's mom to Kendra for being a liberal*

"Reading Program"
*a sign in the church at my wedding*

"They bleeped the whoel pare out when they showed it on T...I mean TV."
*Kendra...there are no words...who forgets the 'V' in TV?*

"We're going to romp around like turtles..."
*Emily*

"Catch the Spirit"
*another sign in the church at my wedding*

"Oh, one more reason that I love America!"
*Kendra, in response to a guy offering to buy us drinks*

"You can call me your queen!"
*Kim to Stevie*

"Who holds their fists up to a moth?"
*Stevie to Shawn*


"I'll stay up and blow on you all night...I'd do that just for you..."
*Tonya to Nat*

"I think the sound I like the worst is..."
*Emily*

Stevie: I want to get married.
Me: I want to get married too.
Kim: I just want to have sex.

Stevie: That's to Oak Harbor though.
Me: That's where the wedding is!
Pause
Stevie: Really?
*three weeks before being a bridesmaid in my wedding*

"Is Mark just here to bring in the bath tissue?"
*Tonya*

Nat: What are those policemen doing standing there?
Bre: I don't know, but we could take their car!

"You look likeyou're 24 and have your life together."
*Stevie, in reference to Kendra's new haircut*

"And the Thai culture, of course."
*Kendra*

"I'd do you."
*Nat to Kendra*

"Don't fall in a jiffy, don't fear!"
*The literal Russian translation of "God will never fail you."*

"Varlamos...what's that??"
*Stevie...after having living behind Varlamos for 10 months*

"That's right, my sex life will be awesome!"
*Stevie*

"If the words 'Why is my missile firing?' ever come out of your mouth, call me!!"
*Nat to Breanne, while watching Air Force One*

"Why are they all dressed up? Oh, it must be homecoming."
*the assumptions people make when you're wearing pink and purple boas*

"Why are they all dressed up? Oh, is it gay pride week?"
*random guy downstairs, commentinng on our flair for Nat and Emily's birthdays*

Nat: Mablely
Ken: Maybe, Nat
Nat: That's what I said! Mabley!

Tonya: Hey! The tree is gone!
Bre: Yeah, it was gone when I got back three days ago.
Tonya: Was it gone yesterday?

Olympic Announcer: Now these moves might look overdone on TV, but remember the rink is really large and your TV is very small."
*commenting on the ice dancing*

Skeleton Announcer: Holy Mackerel!

"Mooooooo...."
*the Alpine Cows*

"She has such long arms that any ballerina would give her eye teeth for."
*Olympic ice skating commentator*

"She doesn't have much speed, but she has great knee work."
*Olympic ice skating commentator again*

"The only difference between the long and the short programs is the time."
*Olympic ice skating commentator again...oh Dick Button*

"You look like you're 24 and have your life together."

Silly Things Boys Say:
"You're like art...that does stuff."
*Shawn to Tonya on Valentine's Day*

Kenny: Who owns this land?
Nat: What?
Kenny: I think I was talking about your shoulder...

House Quotes!
Bre: Did you see who came over?
Janelle: What? Piñatas?

Kendra: Stevie, what's your birthday?
Stevie: Oh, I don't have a middle name.

"I belched and then the seatbelt hit my eye."
*Nat*

"But wait...can he blow you a kiss?"
*Janelle, commenting on the 'no PDA while in uniform' policy*

Nat: I've only read 1 page.
Me: I've had 3 cookies!
*it was very late at night*

"Sometimes I forget she's 21 because she's so small."
*Jacq about me*

"You're like a man, a big German man."
*Kendra to me"

"Laundry makes me HOT."
*Me...don't ask*

"No one hears me. I'm like a great, clanging gong.
*Stevie*

"Would you fancy some bread?
*British Natalie at University Baptist Church*

"I can't wait 'til you have sex."
*Kendra to Stevie*

"Sex is going to be HILARIOUS."
*Stevie, about sex*

"It's too invasive.
*Stevie, about sex again*

"Your F and B are falling off, and your I is no where to be found!
*Tonya to Lindsay as her "FBI" was falling off her coat*

"I get kind of scared when houses don't have Natlie's in them.
*Peter Rumbles to Natalie Larson...quite soon after we all moved into the UMin houses*

Nat: It sounded like you called me 'baby.'
Me: ...I can call you that if you'd like...

Shawn (to me): Did you know that it's genetically possible for you to have a Black child?

"I have to go pee for a long time."
*Kendra*

"You know what's funny? The fresh air really sobers me...."
*Steviebrooke*

"Want to know what diarrhea is?"
*me to Janelle and Breanne as I read the dictionary*

"If I were a different animal...."
*me*

"I suppose you won't have the desire to be frolicking through the land with a beer in your hand?"
*Kimbo to Kendra on her 21st birthday eve*

"Starbuck's is the best thing ever to hit this earth."
*Stevie*

"Raise your hand if you think that guy speaks English a little bit better than Irvin."
*Kenny, in reference to a character in The Usual Suspects*

"I really feel like she returns his affections."
*Kendra, from Pride and Prejudice*

"Do not laugh or sneeze, as the flies will blow off the card."
*Stevie's genome book*

"What if your sole purose in life was to digest things? Wouldn't that make you sad?"
*Kendra expressing sympathy for cows at 3am*

"I want to be Jack...except not a man or gay."
*Kendra, in reference to Will and Grace*

"I don't dance with girls, but you can dance if you want to."
*Shawn*

"How big is she?"
*Shawn in reference to Nat's mom*

"Lily, your hair got really long...or maybe it got shorter...wait, what happened to your hair?"
*Emily's debut on the board*

"Can someone do a strange favor for a partially naked person?"
*Breanne*

Stevie: Sounds like a cat getting run over.
Kendra: That's my voice!

"These people must have been raised by wolves."
*Kendra, while examining the dirty broom*

"Beckoning to the nakedness of my insides..."
*Lindsay Pai's first debut*

"It was only a hundred years ago."
*Kendra, trying to talk about the invention of the Navy, Air Force, etc.*

"I'm uncomfortable with axes being used on people..."
*me*

Kendra: You have to strike while the iron's hot.
Stevie: What? Did you say 'strap on the iron towel'?

Gnat: Smells like a rotten refrigerator.
Stevie: That might be my feet...

Tonya: What's that?
Ash: A mango, excpet I don't know how to tell if it's ripe or not. What color is it supposed to be?
Me: Not green!
*as Ash holds up a bright green mango*

"You're massaging my back with your feet! Are you a small Taiwanese lady?"
*Stevie to me*

"Oh! He's been wounded!"
*British Kimberly, as a guy gets decapitated in Gladiator*

"I am in no mood..."
*me as Madge on Halloween*

Breanne: Lily, have you found Jesus?
Me: No, he's not in his normal place!!
*in reference to Lindsay's fish*

"Laughing is kind of a funny concept. It's like hiccupping - you can't really control it!"
*Deep thoughts by Tonya*

"You should be sleepy...be vulnerable..."
*Me to Stevie*

"Wow, if I were in the Greek system, I could wear this as a dress!"
*Kendra trying on her Relay for Life shirt*

"Only when I'm standing up...or moving."
*Nat's response when I asked her if she was buzzed the night she turned 21*

"Because when you're 19...you're 19. But when you're 20...you're 20!"
*me trying to explain to Tonya why 20 is an important age*

"I'll be sitting in my rocking chair on my horse...I mean porch!"
*Nat*

"Homework! I wish it would just do itself."
*Stevie*

"Well, he looks like a mass-murderer!"
*Nat's mom in reference to a picture of one of my friends*

"It's been working all day. I don't know what's wrong with it."
*Me in reference to the fact that we had working Internet all day in our house...which is odd*

"Porsche Heupel"
*the unfortunate name of Stevie's first daughter*

"Sometimes I wish it was reverse - with your legs sticking up and your head stuck in your pants."
*Kendra, who's best feature is her legs*

"And the suspect explodes..."
*in a creepy, inappropriately cheerful, deep voice*

"It's probably not a good idea to ask a naked person for change because chances are, they don't have any!"
*Shawn*

Me: I'll just be down here in the sink...
Nat: But what about my face?

Are you trying to seduce me?
*Peter to Natalie*

"I have a 25% productivity rate. If I were my employer, I'd fire me!!"
*Kendra*

Stevie: There's no love for the basement girls.
Bre: I only go down there for toilet paper. Oh! And the mop!

"Surdie odie"
*Steviebrooke*

"Oh my gosh, there's brackets and stuff."
*Kendra exploring Nat's cell phone*

Me: Do you want some Aspirin or Mydol...I mean Tylenol?
Kenny: Yeah, I'll take some Mydol for that internal bleeding I have.

Stevie: It means 'speaker'
Kendra: That's what I said...great one who speaks

"I want him (Jason) to come visit you all, 'cause you're hilarious...especially YOU!"
*Stevie talking to Kendra*

"Guess how many stairs there are? 15!!"
*Natalie to Shawn*

"Why was hair like that OK?"
*Gnat, commenting on the ridiculour hairstyles in Braveheart*

"Did anyone bring a cake?"
*Kim after house dinner*

"This marker smells good, Kim. Let's get high."
*Stevie*

"I don't even have enough energy to fully shush you."
*Gnat*

"I would walk until my little legs gave out."
*Ash*

"Are you here yet?"
*Me to Nat in her rolly chair*

The Bubble Tea Kid: Is it raining outside?
Jacq and Ash: No we just went running
*as sweat pours off their faces*

"This guy was testing his jockey strapper thing...."
*Lily*

"I would singe the hair off my nose if I smelled my own feet."
*Kenny*

"These are so much fun because they are so easy to unwrap."
*Me in reference to a Satusuma*

"I have really fast healing flesh."
*Kendra*

"It kind of tastes like liquid air."
*Nat*

"Kind Arthur is the bomb!"
*Kendra proof-reading at 1am*

"I like your diaper bag."
*Little Connor to Natalie, about her purse*

"The condensation...that's our love."
*Natalie too late at night*

"SOLID."
*Stevie*

"I eat babies."
*Nat*

Stevie: If you cuddle with me, it's all over!
Kendra: What is?
Steviebrooke: The whole friendship!

"Where do they fit their intestines? I mean really - where is their liver??"
*Janelle looking at Victoria's Secret models*

"You'd make a fun flip book."
*Nat to Kenny*

"So, I saved a woman's life today...."
*Janelle's final quote*

"It's down his throatal nose."
*Lindsay*

"It's in the booze house."
*Stevie, in reference to the boy's house*

"It wasn't like tuft tuft, like man hair, but..."
*Jennifer, on female chest hair*

"I want to vomit."
*Nat telling me how she feels about homework*

"She hit me with all her 6-year-old little might."
*Kendra*

Band Quotes 2004-05
"Do it better."
*Tom's other nice way of telling us we sound like crap*

"Spank that note a little bit."
*Tom....with Fdar's demonstration of it*

"They invited people with large boots to the dance."
*Tom convincing the percussion that it's OK to be heard during the dance movement of the song*

"If I say something to insult you it's only to give Lily soemthing to write down."
*Tom*

"grow GROW GROW. Run away run away run away!!"
*Tom imitating the trumpets*

"This is the type of thing that makes me go home and smile and my wife says 'he's dreaming of band again.'"
*Tom*

"Let's take an "F" because your intonation is interesting."
*Tom's nice way of telling us we sound like crap*

"I'm sorry I forgot how it goes."
*Melia the night before our concert*

"Don't beat me there!! If you beat me there, we'll throw cookies at you...I mean not the edible ones...just something....just don't be me there!!!"
*Melia pleading with us to follow her while she conducts*

"Oh sorry, I tricked myself too."
*Melia after saying one thing and conducting another*

"My time's a wastin'! Let's go!!"
*Melia...anxious for Tom to stop talking during her conducting time*

"I'm expecting sound and it's not happening. It could be me...but it could be you."
*Melia*

"OK here we go. If you have the music, great! If you don't....well good luck."
*Melia the first night of band*

Matt: It's the elusive Eb Clarinet that doesn't exist.
Fdar: Except she sits right in front of him...
Tom: Lily could you please write that one down?

"Anyway, back to what we were actually doing..."
*Matt after a 10 min. anecdote about his childhood voice lessons*

Tom: My voice teacher would laugh if I tried to sing that.
Matt: My voice teacher was my dad...

"This one is more funner...."
*Matt's spectacular use of the English language*

Class Quotes 2004-05
"Because that's what we are! Piano performers. We perform on the piano. Unless, of course you are not a performer (looks pointedly and Breanne and me) in which case you don't perform." *Craig Sheppard...our piano repertoire professor*

School Quotes 2004-05
"Saying that Lily gives nasty looks is like saying that Lily breathes."
*Jennifer Allardice...don't worry, she assures me that it's a good thing*

"x + y = 4"
*the lady at the social work grad school orientation, talking about how our personal statement was made up of two parts, but could still only be four pages*

"Take your shirt off or something!"
*Alicia...she was saying this to the main character of the movie we were watching. The intent was so that he could blend in and get away from the people chasing him (he was wearing an orange shirt) but it just came out in a funny way :) *

"Well, that's how they used to do that back then!"
*Frank...talking about the songs and poems in Lord of the Rings...in other words back when Middle Earth was real and hobbits roamed the land...*

"Just because for that!"
*Frank...he brought shorts for his visit to Seattle just in case we played tennis, and he felt like portraying that in a semi-sentence*

"I didn't touch your manhood!"
*Erin...meaning she hadn't touched the jenga game that Mark and Frank claimed would prove who was the better man*

"What?! I thought everyone knew that!!"
*new friend Ryan in response to the fact that neither Erin nor Lindsay nor myself realized that Dolphins have sex for pleasure*

Quotes from Home 2004-05
"It's like the thong of all curtains."
*Josh W.'s debut on the quote board! context: the basement of his new house consists of the garage and a room. the room is being shared by two guys and there is a curtain that goes from floor to ceiling dividing the room into two spaces...except the curtain is only about a foot wide...thus it is the "thong of all curtains"*

"This is really sandy for a beach"
*me...what I should have said was 'this is really sandy for a beach on Whidbey Island'. I thought it was implied (Jenn understood what I meant) but apparently it was not, because Jacob got a good long laugh out of it*

"Yay God!"
*something that Jenn, Bre, Frank, and I picked up one evening at the City Beach playground*

House Retreat Quotes!
"Well, I had friends...."
*Kim after being killed in Mafia for the 8th time*

Jacq: Kim, this is an inappropriate song.
Kim: are you stripping me of my jewels?
*Kim was actually talking to Nat who had just taken the anklet off of Kim's ankle...but we all thought it was a new way of saying 'are you calling me fat?'*

"Are you calling me fat?"
*whoever feels like saying it at any random time to keep people on their toes...but it was invented by Nat.*

"Oh my gosh, there's a spider on my neck!......death becomes him...."
*Kim...as she stepped on a spider with her bare foot*

"There's still time for you to change....if you so desire."
*Ashley's way of saying 'you can if you want to'*

"Squids..."
*Nat...the resident English major ;-)*

"Poor, naked child..."
*Kim...referring to Nat as she lamented the fact that she could not stop at Starbuck's on the way to our house retreat*

"Giant babies, all of you!" (not just babies...not just big babies.....GIANT babies...)
*Kendra*