House Quotes!
Bre: Did you see who came over?
Janelle: What? Piñatas?

Kendra: Stevie, what's your birthday?
Stevie: Oh, I don't have a middle name.

"I belched and then the seatbelt hit my eye."
*Nat*

"But wait...can he blow you a kiss?"
*Janelle, commenting on the 'no PDA while in uniform' policy*

Nat: I've only read 1 page.
Me: I've had 3 cookies!
*it was very late at night*

"Sometimes I forget she's 21 because she's so small."
*Jacq about me*

"You're like a man, a big German man."
*Kendra to me"

"Laundry makes me HOT."
*Me...don't ask*

"No one hears me. I'm like a great, clanging gong.
*Stevie*

"Would you fancy some bread?
*British Natalie at University Baptist Church*

"I can't wait 'til you have sex."
*Kendra to Stevie*

"Sex is going to be HILARIOUS."
*Stevie, about sex*

"It's too invasive.
*Stevie, about sex again*

"Your F and B are falling off, and your I is no where to be found!
*Tonya to Lindsay as her "FBI" was falling off her coat*

"I get kind of scared when houses don't have Natlie's in them.
*Peter Rumbles to Natalie Larson...quite soon after we all moved into the UMin houses*

Nat: It sounded like you called me 'baby.'
Me: ...I can call you that if you'd like...

Shawn (to me): Did you know that it's genetically possible for you to have a Black child?

"I have to go pee for a long time."
*Kendra*

"You know what's funny? The fresh air really sobers me...."
*Steviebrooke*

"Want to know what diarrhea is?"
*me to Janelle and Breanne as I read the dictionary*

"If I were a different animal...."
*me*

"I suppose you won't have the desire to be frolicking through the land with a beer in your hand?"
*Kimbo to Kendra on her 21st birthday eve*

"Starbuck's is the best thing ever to hit this earth."
*Stevie*

"Raise your hand if you think that guy speaks English a little bit better than Irvin."
*Kenny, in reference to a character in The Usual Suspects*

"I really feel like she returns his affections."
*Kendra, from Pride and Prejudice*

"Do not laugh or sneeze, as the flies will blow off the card."
*Stevie's genome book*

"What if your sole purose in life was to digest things? Wouldn't that make you sad?"
*Kendra expressing sympathy for cows at 3am*

"I want to be Jack...except not a man or gay."
*Kendra, in reference to Will and Grace*

"I don't dance with girls, but you can dance if you want to."
*Shawn*

"How big is she?"
*Shawn in reference to Nat's mom*

"Lily, your hair got really long...or maybe it got shorter...wait, what happened to your hair?"
*Emily's debut on the board*

"Can someone do a strange favor for a partially naked person?"
*Breanne*

Stevie: Sounds like a cat getting run over.
Kendra: That's my voice!

"These people must have been raised by wolves."
*Kendra, while examining the dirty broom*

"Beckoning to the nakedness of my insides..."
*Lindsay Pai's first debut*

"It was only a hundred years ago."
*Kendra, trying to talk about the invention of the Navy, Air Force, etc.*

"I'm uncomfortable with axes being used on people..."
*me*

Kendra: You have to strike while the iron's hot.
Stevie: What? Did you say 'strap on the iron towel'?

Gnat: Smells like a rotten refrigerator.
Stevie: That might be my feet...

Tonya: What's that?
Ash: A mango, excpet I don't know how to tell if it's ripe or not. What color is it supposed to be?
Me: Not green!
*as Ash holds up a bright green mango*

"You're massaging my back with your feet! Are you a small Taiwanese lady?"
*Stevie to me*

"Oh! He's been wounded!"
*British Kimberly, as a guy gets decapitated in Gladiator*

"I am in no mood..."
*me as Madge on Halloween*

Breanne: Lily, have you found Jesus?
Me: No, he's not in his normal place!!
*in reference to Lindsay's fish*

"Laughing is kind of a funny concept. It's like hiccupping - you can't really control it!"
*Deep thoughts by Tonya*

"You should be sleepy...be vulnerable..."
*Me to Stevie*

"Wow, if I were in the Greek system, I could wear this as a dress!"
*Kendra trying on her Relay for Life shirt*

"Only when I'm standing up...or moving."
*Nat's response when I asked her if she was buzzed the night she turned 21*

"Because when you're 19...you're 19. But when you're 20...you're 20!"
*me trying to explain to Tonya why 20 is an important age*

"I'll be sitting in my rocking chair on my horse...I mean porch!"
*Nat*

"Homework! I wish it would just do itself."
*Stevie*

"Well, he looks like a mass-murderer!"
*Nat's mom in reference to a picture of one of my friends*

"It's been working all day. I don't know what's wrong with it."
*Me in reference to the fact that we had working Internet all day in our house...which is odd*

"Porsche Heupel"
*the unfortunate name of Stevie's first daughter*

"Sometimes I wish it was reverse - with your legs sticking up and your head stuck in your pants."
*Kendra, who's best feature is her legs*

"And the suspect explodes..."
*in a creepy, inappropriately cheerful, deep voice*

"It's probably not a good idea to ask a naked person for change because chances are, they don't have any!"
*Shawn*

Me: I'll just be down here in the sink...
Nat: But what about my face?

Are you trying to seduce me?
*Peter to Natalie*

"I have a 25% productivity rate. If I were my employer, I'd fire me!!"
*Kendra*

Stevie: There's no love for the basement girls.
Bre: I only go down there for toilet paper. Oh! And the mop!

"Surdie odie"
*Steviebrooke*

"Oh my gosh, there's brackets and stuff."
*Kendra exploring Nat's cell phone*

Me: Do you want some Aspirin or Mydol...I mean Tylenol?
Kenny: Yeah, I'll take some Mydol for that internal bleeding I have.

Stevie: It means 'speaker'
Kendra: That's what I said...great one who speaks

"I want him (Jason) to come visit you all, 'cause you're hilarious...especially YOU!"
*Stevie talking to Kendra*

"Guess how many stairs there are? 15!!"
*Natalie to Shawn*

"Why was hair like that OK?"
*Gnat, commenting on the ridiculour hairstyles in Braveheart*

"Did anyone bring a cake?"
*Kim after house dinner*

"This marker smells good, Kim. Let's get high."
*Stevie*

"I don't even have enough energy to fully shush you."
*Gnat*

"I would walk until my little legs gave out."
*Ash*

"Are you here yet?"
*Me to Nat in her rolly chair*

The Bubble Tea Kid: Is it raining outside?
Jacq and Ash: No we just went running
*as sweat pours off their faces*

"This guy was testing his jockey strapper thing...."
*Lily*

"I would singe the hair off my nose if I smelled my own feet."
*Kenny*

"These are so much fun because they are so easy to unwrap."
*Me in reference to a Satusuma*

"I have really fast healing flesh."
*Kendra*

"It kind of tastes like liquid air."
*Nat*

"Kind Arthur is the bomb!"
*Kendra proof-reading at 1am*

"I like your diaper bag."
*Little Connor to Natalie, about her purse*

"The condensation...that's our love."
*Natalie too late at night*

"SOLID."
*Stevie*

"I eat babies."
*Nat*

Stevie: If you cuddle with me, it's all over!
Kendra: What is?
Steviebrooke: The whole friendship!

"Where do they fit their intestines? I mean really - where is their liver??"
*Janelle looking at Victoria's Secret models*

"You'd make a fun flip book."
*Nat to Kenny*

"So, I saved a woman's life today...."
*Janelle's final quote*

"It's down his throatal nose."
*Lindsay*

"It's in the booze house."
*Stevie, in reference to the boy's house*

"It wasn't like tuft tuft, like man hair, but..."
*Jennifer, on female chest hair*

"I want to vomit."
*Nat telling me how she feels about homework*

"She hit me with all her 6-year-old little might."
*Kendra*